Tuesday, 31 March 2020

Should We Always Forgive People When They Hurt Us?

Forgiveness is difficult. It's one of the hardest things we must do because it goes against human nature. It's normal to want to see someone who has harmed you get what they deserve. What we must do is show mercy. Mercy is choosing not to give someone what he or she deserves. James 2:13 says: There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you. God will deal out justice if it's warranted when the time comes.

What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is a decision to release a person from the obligation they owe you for harm they have caused you. Forgiveness from God is the forgiving of our sins by giving his son Jesus Christ. Jesus died on the cross to release the obligation and pay the price for our sins. You must forgive those who sin against you.
Matthew 18: 21-22 says, Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?" 22 "No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!" This is for someone who has remorse and asks for forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not allowing the person you have forgiven to continue to harm you. Many times the person doesn't care that they caused you harm. They may want to cause you more harm. Sometimes they don't even know that they have harmed you. You are to forgive in your mind and turn it over to God and move on. That doesn't mean you have to act like it didn't happen. You don't have to keep being around the person who is causing you harm.

Why we have such a hard time with forgiveness. You may have many reasons you feel you can't forgive someone.
It's too big. There is nothing too big to forgive.
Time will heal it. Not true, time will allow it to fester and get worse.
I will forgive when they say they are sorry. Most of the time it will not happen.
I can't forgive if I can't forget. This is backwards; you need to forgive, to forget.
If I forgive them, they will do it again. That is very possible, and then you forgive them again, if they ask forgiveness.
These reasons are wrong; they are reasons that will cause you pain; they cause no pain to the person who has done harm to you. Holding on to your hate or resentment will eat at you and affect your life, not the person who harmed you.

Why it hurts us not to forgive. Part of following Christ is to forgive others, so we get forgiveness for our sins. Matthew 6:14,15. 14 "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Not forgiving punishes everyone in its path and the consequences of not forgiving are long-lasting. Not being able to forgive is a major cause of bitterness, which is a constant negative running through your mind. It also causes anger, which eats away at you and causes you more harm.
Colossians 3:13 13 Make allowance for each other's faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. These verses are talking about when people ask for forgiveness and are sorry, even if they do it over and over. As God will keep forgiving us when we sin over and over, if we ask.
Forgiveness is not an instant or easy thing; it is healing by grieving and then letting moving on. Forgiveness is something you can't do on our own; you need God's help to make forgiveness complete. During the process of forgiveness you: Don't bring it up to the person. Don't bring it up to others. Don't bring it up to yourself. Don't tell yourself you have a right to feel angry.
Ephesians 4:31 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, and all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. If you feel anger or bitterness or rage, ask God's forgiveness and for help to complete the process so you can let it go. Holding on to negative emotions will not allow you to have peace and let it go.

Should we always forgive? We need to forgive everyone in our mind so we can get over the feelings eating at us. But we don't always need to grant forgiveness to the per wrongdoer. God only forgives if the person is repentant of their sins. God does not hold us to a higher standard than what he forgives? We need to forgive the person in our mind and let it go so it does not affect our lives. But we don't have to forgive them to the person or anyone else if they do not show remorse and ask for our forgiveness. If they show remorse and ask for forgiveness, then we must forgive them as God forgives us for our sins.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10272940

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